Where is the songbird
One thing that I used to do (and loved to do) was to sing, even dance. Whether I was happy or sad, I would sing. But where is it now? My friend Christa sometimes would ask me if I miss it, I sometimes would answer no, but if at times I ask myself the same question, I’d answer yes.
Since I got married, I stopped singing and performing ( umm, well I still did 3 years after we got married but that was with a dutch Christian band, which did not lasted.) I was good at it. Not the best, but also not the worse. I was good & was also told so.
I barely touch the USB microphone that I purchased few months back. I sometimes feel like it’s calling me to: use me, sing to me, do something with me! …but it has been too long since I last touched the poor thing. Maybe I’m too worn out, too old, too bad, just ‘too’ to sing anymore.
During our vacation in Thailand last month, we met this Filipino 5-piece band performing every night in Satchmo Bar at Sofitel Centara Hotel. The 3 girls in front were young, good looking and can really dance. I was watching them intently every night, at times I had to shook my head in disbelief that I was once like them.
That I, together with my then band mates used to sing some of the songs these young ladies were singing
that like them , we used to sing on that very stage years ago (well, it was renovated, but it was still the same place) …that like them we used to live under one roof, perfect strangers brought together by fate, with different opinions, different outlook in life and characters…which most of the time would cause friction within any group.
like them, we appeared happy, like tight friends, in total harmony, like we really like each other.
I was asked by them to sing the very first night. I refused. Probably because I no longer have the self confidence that I used to have. Because I was so out of practice I knew if I step on that stage, it’ll blow on my face.
But I had to find out. I had to conquer my self-made fears. And I was partially right. That the self confidence was gone, not totally but a big part of it. And that I was out of practice. But I was glad that I dared sing again that night. I sung for Nikki, a nice lady I met during the Thai cooking class that afternoon and it was a birthday song for her. I sung ‘The Greatest Love Of All’ -Whitney Houston’s key, which I thought would kill me. In the past, this was just a filler song for me that when I needed a number to stretch my vocals with, I’d used this. There was even a time when I jammed that night, I was really short of breath I could just not sustain the song. I thought of handing back the mic to one of the singers , run down the stage and lick my sorry wound. But I stood my ground and finished the song.
Ah, no shame, I really was. But after that song, I still gave me a pat on the shoulder because I dared. I conquered my fears and finally found my answer. I still miss singing. But not performing. Not singing with a band. Not dancing on stage. Not the audience. Not the applause.
I just miss singing. I must do something about this. I must sing again.
Just above photo, the huge in white in the middle was me…and with the lovely waiters who always took care of my mister and I during dinners from one of the seafood restaurants nearby the hotel. I just thought I’d include a shot with them.
Call me Thess. Married to a wonderful Dutchman.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:05 am
hi thess,
i didn’t know u performed before..hehe! feeling close db? sana u could post some pix of ur performances dati. i would be glad to see it! for sure, ganda un!!!
fortunately, i perform din. we had a group here in Riyadh called RAGI (Riyadh Artist Guild Internatioanl). it’s like we do performances like variety shows, cultural, etc. all for community service. in other words, we are not payed to perform. pro now, mejo hiatus ang group namin. but we do meet once in a while.
how’s holland???
bobot’s last blog post..Word of the day - Nov. 13, 2007
November 14th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Hi Bobot! close na, hindi lang feel
most of my band photos are in the Pihilippines, I’ll try to find those few that I brought with me..scan ko.
Oh wow! that’s cool, Bobot!! Masaya din kahit hindi paid, itong dutch band ko, we’re not paid but we paid to be able to join. baligtad ano??!! Ganito kasi mga hobby groups dito..and I had to stop kasi everybody wants to be Pwitney Houston (until now, ganuon pa rin sila), kahit walang K…(long story, ‘must stop before i say things which i shouldn’t)
Holland? cold and gray right now..when it comes to performing naman, walang market.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Sana nga bumalik ka sa pagkakanta! science talent mo mamah!!
cheh’s last blog post..Steinheim Castle
November 14th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Ola Chechay! akala ko ba, banned ka? *lol* Hirap na kasi ako kumanta eh, isang song, namamaos na ako agad…oks na PPP mo?
November 14th, 2007 at 10:46 am
PPP hindi pa asar nga eh!! thanks sa tip mi teks!muaah
cheh’s last blog post..Steinheim Castle
November 14th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
hi thess, buti naman you took the chance to sing ulit kahit medyo out of practice. buti ka nga you have the talent, e paano na lang yung mga katulad ko na mahilig sa music pero ang music walang hilig sa amin? :) nung binabasa ko yung entry mo, super proud ako sa iyo, alam mo ba? pwedeng-pwede pang makipagsabayan ang byuti mo sa kanila. :)
at pati ako nakiki-nostalgia. nafi-feel ko rin kasi yan pag bumibisita ako sa dati kong trabaho (na mahal na mahal ko) tapos nakikita ko yung pumalit sa akin dun, minsan naiisip ko, “ako gumagawa niyan dati” or “kaya ko rin yan”. pero siyempre mas bata sila, mas may mga bagong skills, at ako naman may iba nang buhay na mas challenging di ba? so iniisip ko na lang na, masaya ako na kahit papaano naging part ng life-experience ko yun. :)
Meeya’s last blog post..Tagged [My Good Half]
November 14th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
neybor, post ka ulit ng kanta mo….hindi na naulit yung ni-post mo dati eh. special request yan ha, para dumami lalo ang PPP mo hahaha.
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November 15th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
MEEYA: pinataba mo naman ilong..este puso kom pa kiss nga!
alam mo, buti na lang kahit 10% na kakapalan ng mukha ko sumampa ng stage, nanduon pa kung hindi, loser na ako talaga.
Tama, positive ang approach mo sa kasalukuyan at nakaraan na buhay…apir! pero tsk tsk..mas bata na talaga sila ano, at tumatanda na tayo ha ha ha!!
RHADA: yaan mo, hihilatsahin ko muna lalamunan ko at tulog na tulog talaga…aawitan kita na mala Armida Sigiuon Reyna or Pilita Corales, sasabayan ko pa ng paliyad-liyad, pramis!
November 15th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
but you looked like you were one of them, match pa black and white outfit, pro na pro ang dating, and i must say singer na singer pa din. i’ve heard you sing in this site of yours, kalimutan ko ano tawag dun, you sounded so good, eh di how much more with a live band!
Sa tindig mo while singing, looks like confidence was not lost at all. *clap, clap*
Girlie’s last blog post..Get Rid of the Destructions
November 15th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Looking at the pics, I could always hear you singing, Thess.
“The Greatest Love of All” is a tough piece to sing. But a pro like you knows how to hit the right notes, I’m sure. :-)
Jayred’s last blog post..F&B Fair
November 16th, 2007 at 11:24 am
wow..touching post. i kinda know how you feel.nostalgic.
asan ang kanta? it would be grand if you can post it here for us to hear your voice
sachiko’s last blog post..Getting to know Japan more
November 18th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
you still got the looks of a pro (and I am definite you sounded like one as well!)
pwes, join na sa PSS ng singsnap where pinoy music lovers join together to show our talents (meron ba ko nun???) or our unity as Pinoys to the world. YABANG PINOY!
We are into the second project (ala DO They Know It’s Christmas, if you have seen my latest post sa karaoke blog ko), now we are onto “Merry Christmas, Darling” Ewan kung ano pa susunod na mix gagawin pero mukang CD ang binubuo to give away to relatives and friends for the Christmas season.
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